Is this your baby?
No?
Then why are you telling me how I should parent him?
He was fine in his pajamas, by the way. He gets chilly in the air conditioning, so yes, his pajamas had long sleeves and pants, but they were lightweight summer PJ’s. Not too hot, not too cold. Just right for a little nap in the stroller.
Unfortunately, he didn’t end up falling asleep. He wanted his pacifier… the pacifier that he had apparently ripped off of the leash and thrown overboard somewhere. He needed a nap and wouldn’t sleep without his pacifier.
So he cried.
And cried.
And cried.
Until he was hot and sweaty.
I did my best to comfort him and soothe him and blow on him to cool him off. I looked frantically for the pacifier. I was upset and sad for him and I was doing my best.
I was the only volunteer for lunch and had no idea the teacher would be so late coming back. It was a very stressful situation.
So when it was finally time to leave, I was hurrying out of the school to blast him with some car AC and give him a new pacifier. I saw you staring at me and thought you were going to give me the I’m-sorry-I’ve-totally-been-there-before smile.
Instead, you blocked my way out of the building. You grabbed his stroller and told me “You know you can’t put a baby in long pants in this weather”. Although it wasn’t any of your business, I quickly tried to explain that he was hot because he’d been crying and the thin, summer pajamas weren’t the reason he was overheated.
You didn’t hear me, though, because you then turned to all of the other moms walking out of the school and said “Seriously, you can’t put a baby in long pants in the summer. Look at this baby!”, all the while holding onto MY stoller like you weren’t going to let me leave.
You’re lucky I didn’t slap your hand away.
I can appreciate wanting to help another mom. I understand the desire to give some friendly parenting advice now and then. I even get disapproving of another mom’s bad parenting.
But you weren’t helping. You were the LAST thing I needed today.
My baby boy was fine three minutes later, in the car with the AC blowing on him and a new pacifier in his mouth. He instantly fell asleep and was fine.
I, on the other hand, cried the whole way home.
Thanks so much for your help.
Next time, like we tell the Kindergarteners, “You worry about YOU. I’ll worry about ME.”
.
Amber @FromTheHeartsOf says
Oh I’m sorry you had a bad day. 🙁
I would have ran her over with the stroller. Mean old witch.
Janet @ I HEART My Glue Gun says
Oh.My.Word.
How RUDE! So sorry you had to deal with this! I know when people insert their unwanted opinions on your parenting, it’s the worst!
*hugs*
http://www.iheartmygluegun.com
Judy says
I’m sorry that you had to go through that! It’s also a good reminder that we have to watch what we say to others because we have no idea what they’ve been through recently or how what we say (even if we say it trying to help them) may hurt them.
Hope you were able to at least enjoy naptime when it finally did come!
Poppie Lane says
ugh. some mom’s are horribly prideful and mean. so sorry you had to deal with that. 🙁
S. Greiner says
Oh my gosh!?!? Good thing she didn’t stop by my house today with my two kiddos still in the pjs (long sleeve and long pants) at 3pm in 100degree heat. My goodness to think…it’s 72 in our house!?!?!
I’m so sorry you had such an experience today! It’s not fair to ever make anyone feel like this and I probably would have wanted to slap her hand too!
Glad you’re home, baby is safe and cool and you knew what was going on so don’t sweat her!
A Helicopter Mom says
Thank you, everyone!
I needed Moms like you all there today instead of her! 🙂
Melissa says
WOW! I have a serious hatred for anyone that steps in unwelcome and tries to tell me how to parent my own children. Especially when they have no idea what my childs story is.
I am so sorry you had to deal with this. I hope you are feeling better.
Laura says
I hate it when something like that happens and you think of all the perfect responses when it’s too late to actually deliver them. Don’t let it eat you up. She was totally off-base.
Kelly Lininger says
This really makes me mad… I give you credit for not getting into her face… You are a much better person than me..
So sorry you had to go through that!
I’ve Become My Mother
I’ve Become My Mother facebook
Rachel says
Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry. Hope you’re doing okay now.
Delaney says
I agree with Amber, run them over with the stroller next time. Feel better because you’re doing/are awesome!
Deb H. says
Oh, love your precious heart. She should have been a help instead of worsening the situation. :*(
Sara says
Don’t let that woman get to you! You know what is best for your child. So many people try to meddle when it’s none of their business. I applaud you for not slapping her right then and there…I would have!
Twingle Mommy says
OK I was laughing at the intro that showed up in my dashboard. And then I started reading and gt so mad for you. Why do women do this to us? As if this mom is sooo perfect and her childen have never cried or she has never lost a pacifer or forgotten a bottle? I’m sorry you had a rough day. Hang in there! I would have stood up for you if I was in that group of women.
jamie says
UNbelievable!! How does someone even begin to think they can act like that?! how childish—
Jenn says
Love this post! I just got yelled at yesterday for my “lousy parenting,” so I can relate! I was in a thrift shop and my daughter wanted to play with the pile of toys in the corner. I let her play for 10 minutes, and then it was time to go. She had a total meltdown. I tried giving her a toy to play with in the cart, but that didn’t help, so I put it back. She wanted to play in the toy pile, but we needed to go home.
On the way out of the store, I was stopped by no less than three people asking me what was wrong with my squalling daughter, who was screaming at the top of her lungs and had tears and snot running down her face. I just wanted to get to the car — I knew she’d be fine as soon as we got out of the store, but people kept stepping in front of me to ask what was wrong!
Finally I said to one lady, “She just wants to play with the toys in the corner.” She rolled her eyes at me and said, “So give her a TOY for God’s sake!!”
The aisles were narrow, and it took me a couple of minutes to get around her, while saying “Excuse me… excuse me…” repeatedly.
Just as I thought, as soon as I got her to the car, she calmed down and happily chattered as we drove home. *sigh* I feel your pain! Don’t doubt yourself — you know what’s best for your child.
Hope the rest of your week is better!
Smiles, Jenn
http://www.misadventuresinmotherhood.com
Delaney says
Visiting again with exciting news: I’ve given you the sunshine award, check out how to accept it here: http://sweetteaserendipity.blogspot.com/2011/06/pocketful-of-sunshine.html
Ashley D says
The audacity of some people literally shocks me! I am SO sorry that you had to endure this! What a witch! I want you to know, that I totally get the long summer PJ’s because they get cold in the AC! Heck, I wear pants in my house sometimes, why wouldn’t I want my child to be warm too?! I’m sure you’re a fabulous mom! Hang in there! *big hug*
Moose tracks and Tater stacks says
Oh my goodness Mickey, don’t let her get to you, you know that you were doing right by your child and that is all that matters! She doesn’t have a clue what was going on and even if it was what she thought it was, it STILL wasn’t her business! Big hugs to you, I hope tomorrow is a much better day with no one getting in your business!
Shanimal says
How could someone be so rude? I mean, yeah, it was rude to say it to just you, but then to say it loudly so as to embarrass you in front of others? Jerk!
Kiana says
WOW….I hate NOSEY people….I think I would have ran over her with the stroller too!!! HUGS!
Jenn says
Uggh…so frustrating. I so would have said something. Sorry you had a bad day and the other mom was so rude. TGIF!
Laura O in AK says
I recently had a simliar experience regarding ‘environmental issues’, only the person chastizing me was a 20 something who had no kids. It wasn’t to my face, but to his friend. I just ignored and walked away.
I’m all for the ‘village’ helping at times, but they need to realize that what they see is not the whole picture and important facts could be missing.
LadyD says
So glad I found you through Friendly Friday.
Mandi says
Ohhh, my tummy knotted up just reading that. Some people just can’t keep it to themselves. I’m sorry you had to deal with that and hope you have a great weekend!
M.
Odahingum says
Oh, I’m so sorry that those parents treated you with such disrespect! They should mind their own business as you have said. And I would have slapped her for what she did to you, friend or not! ♥
New GFC follower from Spotlight Saturday Blog Hop
I hope to see you on my blog. ☺ ☺ ☺
Diversity Unlimited
http://diversity-unlimited.blogspot.com/
Odahingum
Mariah says
Where’s the LIKE button for this! I wish more people would mind their own business!
Stopping by to stalk you from this week’s Super Stalker Sunday! Thanks for linking up. I hope you’ll join us again next week!
Stop by and visit Formula Mom when you get a chance!
KerrieLynn says
I found you on the Super Stalker Sunday Blog Hop! I was already following you via GFC, but just added in your Twitter and Facebook ~ thanks for making it so easy to folllow! If you get a chance stop over and check out what’s in my Cupboards!
In regards to your post, unfortunately there will always be people out there like that which brings to mind an old saying: “What cannot be cured, must be endured”…..someone who has enough you know whats to try to tell another how to parent will probably never be over themselves and will never change. Keep you chin up and your good parenting going!
~KerrieLynn Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Blog: KLs Cupboard
Facebook: KLs Cupboard
Twitter: KLs Cupboard
veronica says
Thats is great! Oh my all I heard was socks! Socks socks socks! And most times for presents I got socks socks socks. I had babies who really dislike socks. I get the need for socks and hats as a newborn, they lose a lot of their heat that way. But come on, everyone had to point out the no sock thing. Really? I’d rather have a blanket over my child swaddled then hear them fuss and cry over their feet. When I see new moms frustrated and losing their minds over others advice I just say, do what works for your baby and you forget everything else. Mind your beeswax nosy nellies!
Thanks for linking up today I’m following you back 🙂
veronica
Sunday Strolling Blog Hop
Xenia @ Thanks, Mail Carrier says
Oh man! Slapping her hand away would have been the least of this woman’s worries had she done this to me, so I give you major credit for keeping your cool!
I love the title of this post because it really needs to be plastered on t-shirts and billboards everywhere!
(Thanks for joining us for Friendly Friday!)
Margi says
That just makes my blood boil! And I don’t even know you… but it’s the universal mom code – if you didn’t give birth to it, it’s not your responsibility! (unless of course, they’re in danger)
Adorn on a Shoestring - Chrystal says
Man, don’t you just hate people?! I cannot stand pretentious idiots giving unsolicited parenting advice! With 5 kids, I have had many similar experiences! Just take solace in the fact that you knew what was right for your baby, and that this woman is obviously just a really bad person. I mean, honestly, it would be bad enough for her to stop and rag you out, but to try to humiliate you in front of other parents…. despicable.
Elizabeth @ Table for Five says
Came over from Friendly Friday, and WOW. I probably wouldn’t have been rude to that lady’s face, but I sure would have said some choice things about her in the privacy of my car! I have 3 kids, and it does seem like some Mothers feel like it is their job to parent EVERY child.
Lori A. says
Weird. Sometimes I don’t know what comes over people.
We were at Joann’s today and my 7 1/2 year old son (I’m 5’11 and my hubby is 6’5 so we make tall kids) was riding in the cart (the back, not the front seat! lol) because his leg was hurting…a woman walking by with her little one in the front of the cart said, “Oh wow. That’s a big boy in that cart.” I assume she was talking to her daughter because she had just walked past us…maybe she didn’t realize that I was going around the cart and right by her. Obviously I don’t know what she meant by that but I don’t really see why she commented at all. I didn’t say anything but I told my husband about it when we got to the checkout and he said, “You should have said ‘Oh wow. That’s a big mouth on that lady.”